RainBorg
by llxxRawr its Beansxxll
Summary: Based on 'Krab Borg'. I own nothing.


In Pinkie's room at Sugarcube Corner, she is munching on a bowl of popcorn and watching TV.

_Narrator: We now return to tonight's Creepy Time Theater presentation of "Night of the Robot"._

The screen shows a live-action Andrea Libman being chased by a giant robot and screaming.

Pinkie: Hurry, Gummy! The scary robot movie's on!

Gummy waddles up to her and blinks.

Pinkie: What do you mean, I shouldn't watch this? Scary movies don't always freak me out.

After the movie, Pinkie just lies in bed, shivering.

Pinkie: What if Momma Pie is a robot? What is Uncle Pie is a robot? What if Gummy is a robot?!

She turns over to a sleeping Gummy beside her bed.

Pinkie: Gummy? Psst, Gummy? Gummy Bear?

She pokes him in the eye, and he just wakes up to face her.

Pinkie: Gummy, if you were a robot, you'd tell me, right?

You can probably guess what he did in response.

Pinkie: Oh, I've got nothing to worry about. And now to get a good night's sleep.

She drifts off into a seemingly peaceful sleep. However, her horrific nightmares include her being chased by a giant robot in her voice actor's place.

The next morning, Pinkie's eyes are bloodshot, and she seems a bit edgy as she walks through Ponyville.

Pinkie: ROBOT, OH MY GOSH!

What she thought to be a robot was actually a turnip stand in the farmer's market. Pinkie rubs her eyes and chuckles at her mistake.

Meanwhile, up in her mansion, Rainbow Dash is doing push-ups in her workout room.

Rainbow: How about a little music while I work out?

She grabs her radio and sets it on the ground beside her.

_Vinyl Scratch: And now for the number one song in Ponyville, Electric Zoo!_

A techno beat starts, and Rainbow Dash continues doing push-ups, even being as motivated to do one-handed ones.

Rainbow Dash: Hey, that's pretty catchy. Bee-boo-bop-bop, bee-boo-bop-bop. Yeah, that's not bad. I like techno music.

On the ground, Pinkie looks around for any robot activity. Her watch goes off with a loud beeping sound, signaling 8:00.

Pinkie: I SURRENDER!...Oh.

Twilight: Hey, Pinkie.

Pinkie: AAAAH!

She is so surprised that her watch goes flying off of her foreleg and onto Twilight's snout.

Pinkie: Twilight, why are you wearing my watch on your nose?

Twilight: I'm not wearing my watch on your nose, I'm just waiting for those ruby cupcakes you promised Spike.

She takes them out of her saddlebag for Twilight to see.

Pinkie: Oh, yes. I know how much Spike loves his rubies. Sorry, Twilight, I'm not really feeling myself today. I guess I'm a little bit jumpy. I keep thinking that robots are taking over the world, probably on account of this movie I watched last night where robots take over the world. I even asked Gummy if he was a robot! Pretty funny, huh?

Twilight: Hilarious. Just deliver the food.

Pinkie follows Twilight back to the library and delivers the cupcakes to the waiting dragon.

Pinkie: There you go, Spike! Enjoy your…Say, you're not a robot, are you?

Spike: (weirded out) No…I'm not.

Pinkie: Well, keep your eyes peeled. They're everywhere…Back to work!

She exits the library and heads back toward Sugarcube Corner. Rainbow Dash's mansion can be seen in the background, floating above Ponyville.

Rainbow: I feel completely recharged!

Pinkie: That sounds like Rainbow Dash.

She grabs a flying contraption out of nowhere (because she's Pinkie) and pedals over to the window, where she can see Rainbow Dash holding the radio.

Rainbow: Come on, little buddy, play it again. Please? One more time, for me.

Pinkie: That was strange. Rainbow Dash was talking to her radio, and she said she feels "recharged". Haha! If I didn't know any better, I'd say she was _a robot…_Nah.

Rainbow Dash picks up her phone and dials the radio station.

Rainbow: Yeah, hey. I was wondering if you could play that song again.

Vinyl: Hmm…Which one, man?

Rainbow: The one that goes "bee-boo-boo-bop, boo-boo-beep".

Vinyl: No, man, you're thinking of "bee-boo-boo-bop, boo-boo-bop".

Rainbow Dash: Bee-boo-boo-bop, boo-boo-beep-bop? Not, bee-boo-boo-beep? Bop? Beep? Boo-boo-bop!

Pinkie: AAAAAAH!

She quickly pedals away from the window.

Pinkie: Oh, my gosh. Why was Rainbow Dash making all those beeping sounds?! Could it be that she's _a robot?..._Nah.

She looks back at the window and gasps at the sight.

Rainbow Dash is doing some kind of weird version of the robot dance while listening to her favorite song on the radio.

Twilight is studying during this occurrence, when Pinkie tackles her to the ground off of her chair.

Pinkie: Oh, Twilight, it's terrible! Rainbow Dash…talking to radio…beeping sounds…strange dancing…_robot!_

Twilight: That's great, Pinkie. Why don't you work on this problem back at your place?

She teleports Pinkie back to Sugarcube Corner using her spell and laughs.

Pinkie: I'm serious, Twilight! Rainbow Dash is a robot! And I can prove it, too!

Twilight: How did you…?

Pinkie: Let's see, in the movie, the robots didn't have a sense of humor! They couldn't laugh. HEY, RAINBOW DASH!

Rainbow flies down to Twilight's window when she hears Pinkie's voice.

Rainbow: What is it, Pinkie?

Pinkie: Twilight just told me a hilarious joke, and I thought you might like to hear it!

Rainbow: Is it true, Twilight? Is it hilarious?

Twilight: Um…yeah, sure.

Rainbow: Well, let's hear it, then.

Pinkie: Okay, here it goes! Uh, how'd it go, Twilight?

Twilight: Uh, it went, um…uh, let's see, uh…Why couldn't the filly get into the pirate movie?

Rainbow: Why?

Twilight: It was rated 'Arr!' Hahahahahahahahah! Arr! Haha! because…it's about…pirates.

The joke receives no humorous response from either Rainbow or Pinkie.

Rainbow: Thank Celestia you don't do stand-up, Twilight.

She resumes her work-out back at her house.

Pinkie: Not even a chuckle! See, Twilight? She didn't laugh because she couldn't laugh because she's _a robot!_

Twilight: There's a logical explanation why she didn't laugh, Pinkie. She's obviously heard it before. The only reason you think Rainbow Dash is a robot is because you watched that fictional movie. Now, why don't you…

Pinkie: HEY, RAINBOW DASH!

Rainbow: What? What is it, Pinkie?

Pinkie: Twilight's father…never hugged her…Isn't that sad?!

She even adds some fake weeping to her routine.

Rainbow: Yeah, I guess that is kind of sad, but Twilight can hug herself all she wants. Now, leave me alone for a while. I've gotta work out.

She lifts up off the window and returns home.

Pinkie: Just like the robot in the movie! She couldn't cry either!

Twilight: Pinkie, this is getting ridiculous. I'll have you know my father loved me very much.

Pinkie: That's the final test, Twilight; the love test! Robots can't love.

Twilight: No, wait, Pinkie!

Pinkie: HEY, RAINBOW DASH!

Rainbow: (irritated) What is it, Pinkie?!

Pinkie: I just wanted to tell you that Twilight loves you!

They both stare blankly at each other for a while.

Rainbow: You know how much I hate shipping, Twilight.

She goes back to resume her morning routine.

Pinkie: (scared) Twilight?

Rainbow Dash lifts some weights on a bench press when her radio finally gives out.

Rainbow: Aw, my radio died!

She takes out the batteries.

Rainbow: Hmm, these batteries still have a little juice in them. I know! I'll give them to Scootaloo for Hearth's Warming!

The resourceful Rainbow Dash sticks the batteries in one of her sweatbands. Just then, a timer sounds from the kitchen.

Rainbow: My hard-boiled egg is ready! I can already taste it.

She grabs a pair of tongs and fishes for the egg.

Rainbow: Come to Mama…Gotcha! And what good is a hard-boiled egg without a little salt?

Pinkie: RAINBOW DASH!

Pinkie's call startles her so much that she breaks the egg and spills a large amount of salt in her eyes.

Rainbow: AAH! AAH, MY EYES! AAAAAAH!

Pinkie: RAINBOW-

Twilight: Will you be quiet? Now, listen, what did these robots in the movie look like?

Pinkie: Well, they had piercing red eyes, metal pinchers for hooves, and they ran on batteries.

Pinkie: Okay, so tell me; Does Rainbow Dash look anything like that?

Rainbow: AAAAAH! AAAAH! AAAAAAH! AAH!

Rainbow Dash bursts through the window with red, burning eyes, a pair of tongs still in her hooves, and the batteries sticking out of her sweatband visible.

Twilight and Pinkie: AAAAAAAAAAAH!

Rainbow: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

She makes her way to Twilight's bathroom faster than a speeding bullet.

Twilight: I'll evacuate the town! You call the Navy!

Pinkie gallops to Twilight's phone and dials a number in.

Pinkie: Hello, Operator?! Get me the Navy!

_Operator: Hello. You've reached the Navy's automated phone service._

Pinkie: Twilight, the robots are running the Navy!

Twilight" Not the Navy!

Twilight steps out onto the balcony of the library with a large bullhorn.

_Twilight: Attention, everypony! Run for your lives! Robots have taken over the world!_

They all give Twilight a blank stare.

_Twilight: Our world!_

Everypony: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

They all evacuate Town Square in a hurry. Twilight and Pinkie take refuge behind a bookshelf.

Twilight: What do we do now?

Pinkie: I don't know. Hey, a nickel!

Twilight: Pinkie.

Pinkie: Sorry.

Rainbow Dash exits the bathroom, appearing much calmer.

Rainbow: Ah, that's better. Thanks for letting me use your bathroom, Twilight…Twilight?...Huh, they must've left. Bee-boo-boo-boo-bee-bop, boo-boo-bop…

When they're sure she has left, they poke their heads above the bookshelf.

Twilight: We need to find out what that robot did with the real Rainbow Dash, but how?

Pinkie: Well, in the movie, the hero teams up with a buddy, and they get the poop on the robot.

Twilight: They poop on the robot?

Pinkie: Yeah, you know, they get the straight poop, ask questions, get information.

Twilight: I never thought I'd say this, but, Pinkie Pie…Let's get that poop!

The Earth pony and the unicorn read a book on how to torture, then grab all the necessary equipment needed to interrogate Rainbow Dash.

After her workout, Rainbow Dash decides to bathe in the sunlight next to the lake, acting lazy as ever. Out of the corner of her vision and through her sunglasses, she can see what she has always wanted; the brand new Daring Do book.

Her face lights up with a wide grin, and she goes to chase after it, but it is pulled away by an invisible string.

She tries to pounce again, but it is pulled just out of her reach by an unknown force.

This goose chase leads her all the way through Ponyville and into the library. When she finally clasps her hooves on the book and hugs it as if it were her child, Pinkie and Twilight show up and slam the door behind them.

Rainbow: Oh, hey, guys.

They just narrow their eyes at her suspiciously.

Rainbow: So, what's up? Heh, why did you lock the door?...Why do you have that rope?!...Seriously, guys, you're creeping me out here!

The sounds of a wild struggle can be heard from outside the library as they use their weapons on Rainbow Dash.

After a while, they restrain the accused robot by tying her to a chair.

Rainbow: TWILIGHT! PINKIE PIE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! UNTIE ME OR I'LL-

Twilight: Shut up!

She slaps her, then consults her book for further information.

Rainbow: Dear Celestia, what the hay is going on?!

Twilight slaps her again, right in the cheek.

Twilight: I said shut up, you bucket of bolts!

Pinkie: I can't take it!

She runs off and cries in the corner.

Twilight: Pinkie, are you okay?

Pinkie: Oh, Twilight, seeing you slap Rainbow Dash like that is just too horrible to watch!

Twilight: No, that's not Rainbow Dash.

She points to her struggling at her ropes.

Twilight: That's Robot Dash.

Pinkie: Oh, yeah.

Twilight: And the only way to deal with these robot types is to find out what they know.

Pinkie: Right…

She trots up to Rainbow Dash and slaps her for no reason.

Twilight: Pinkie, you've got to ask her a question first.

Pinkie: Oh, yeah…What's Gummy's favorite cupcake?!

The Pegasus receives another slap.

Twilight: Pinkie, let me handle this.

She dims all the lights in the room and shines a lamp straight on the tied up pony.

Twilight: Where's Rainbow Dash?

Rainbow: What are you talking about?! I'm Rainbow Dash!

Rainbow gets her fifth slap.

Twilight: We can do this all night if you want. Where's Rainbow Dash?

Rainbow: I'm Rainbow Dash!

Pinkie: Where's Rainbow Dash?!

Rainbow: I'm Rainbow Dash!

Twilight: Where's Rainbow Dash?!

Rainbow: I am Rainbow Dash! I am I am I am I am I am I am I am!

Pinkie: This is one stubborn robot.

Rainbow cannot contain her anger anymore and knocks over the lamp with her yelling.

Rainbow: WHAT?! YOU THINK I'M A ROBOT!?

Twilight: We don't think, we know.

Rainbow: That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard! I am Rainbow Dash!

Twilight: She's still not cracking. We'll never get it out of her this way.

Pinkie: I've got an idea. Keep an eye on her, Twilight. Don't fall for any of her robot tricks.

She exits the room, then comes back quickly with something behind her back.

Pinkie: If Robot Dash won't tell us where Rainbow Dash is, maybe one of her little friends will.

She reveals a kitchen appliance to be the mysterious object.

Twilight: Pinkie, uh, that's a blender.

Pinkie: Yeah, but I saw Rainbow Dash talking with her radio before. She called it her "little buddy".

Twilight: Oh, really? Put it on the table, Pinkie.

Rainbow: You're gonna interrogate my blender? You're crazy.

Twilight: We're just going to see what your "little buddy" knows.

Twilight takes a baseball bat from under the table.

Rainbow: No, wait! What are you gonna do with my blender?! That cost me money!

Twilight: Where's Rainbow Dash?

The inanimate object does nothing.

Twilight: Not talking, eh?

She smashes the blender with the bat.

Rainbow: No! That cost me 25 bits!

Pinkie: I guess it didn't know anything.

Twilight: Go get the toaster!

She rushes out the door at Twilight's commander.

Rainbow: No, not my toaster! That cost me 33 bits!

Twilight breaks the toaster, which is replaced by a food processor.

Rainbow: 63 bits!

She breaks that too, and Pinkie gets the coffee maker.

Rainbow: Four!...Well, actually, that one was a gift.

SMASH!

Rainbow: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Pinkie carries another object in with her.

Pinkie: This is the last robot, Twilight.

Rainbow: No! Not my Laptop! I raised it myself! I got it when it was just a little calculator! No-ho-ho-ho-hoo!

Rainbow Dash cries her eyes out in front of her friends.

Twilight: I thought you said robots couldn't cry.

Pinkie: I also said they couldn't love.

Rainbow: (sobbing) I loved it like it was my own!

Pinkie: Uh…at least she's not laughing.

Rainbow: Oh, I remember the laughs we used to share!

Twilight: Uh, Pinkie, how did that movie of yours end?

Pinkie: The movie? Oh, yeah! The ending was great! Turns out, there weren't any robots after all! It was just their imagination…Hehe. Well, it's time to feed Gummy.

Pinkie rushes out of the library, leaving Twilight to deal with an infuriated Rainbow Dash. She smiles nervously and picks up a broom to sweep up the remains of her friend's kitchen appliances.

Rainbow: GRRRRRRRRR TWIIIILIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHHT!


End file.
